Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Recursion 23


Scintilla Day 9:  Write a list of 23. (23 things to do, 23 people you owe apologies
to, 23 books you've lied about reading, 23 things you can see from
where you're sitting, 23 ten-word hooks for stories you want to
tell....)


Notwithstanding the fact that any project that mentions LYING about reading books is momentarily on VERY SHAKY GROUND with me, here is my list of ... lists.

I couldn't think of anything to list, and going random just seemed too easy, so I googled list of, and then got caught up in all the lists there are. Which then makes this kind of random, doesn't it? Look, my husband's away and I did dance class AND playoff hockey last night, okay? AND the other team almost tied it up in the last four seconds. My nerves are SHOT.  


1. List of colours. Colour swatches from domain-specific naming schemes, and a bunch of other stuff I don't understand, but the names are cool. Android Green. Dark Byzantium. Caput Mortuum (that means 'dead head' or 'worthless remains' which is totally something I would like to have on my bedroom walls, how about you?)


2. List of the top ten evil children in fiction. Recently I watched Orphan and Joshua, which made me wonder what the hell I was thinking, and then question what the hell Vera Farmiga was thinking, especially the second time. Is there anything scarier than evil children? Evil bunnies, maybe? Especially because the people in the evil children books or movies have apparently never read or seen an evil-child book or movie, so no one ever believes the person who figures out that the kid is evil, while the poor person reading or watching is going "But it's so obvious! The child is EVIL! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!" 


3. The top 17 most overused movie soundtrack songs. I had no idea the Big Butts song was in so many movies. 


4. The phobia list. Acerophobia - fear of sourness. Blennophobia - fear of slime. Zelophobia - fear of jealousy. Automatonophobia - fear of ventriloquists' dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues - anything that falsely represents a sentient being (this seems to me both uncreatively named and JUST GOOD COMMON SENSE). Soceraphobia - fear of parents-in-law (not touching that one). You guys - this list is FUN.


5. Top ten animals you didn't know were venomous. BUNNIES. Just kidding. But look!


It's as cute as a bunny - and it's venomous AND poisonous. 


6. The Penis List. It's rude. It's crude. It's for the shallow and easily amused. Needless to say, I laughed my ass off.


7. The top ten most misunderstood lines in literary history. If you're anything like me, you will approach this list with an insufferable degree of smugness and immediately be demolished by the fact that HOLY CRAP, that's NOT what that Robert Frost poem means AT ALL. Hmph.


8. List of Doofenshmirtz's schemes and inventions. In case you're ever in the need of an idea for a good 'Inator'. Because who doesn't want to show the entire Tri-State area who's boss some days? 


9. List of songs that contain lists. Too meta? Sorry. 


10. A List of Dragon Movies


11. Lucky and unlucky Chinese numbers. Just, you know, in case.


12. The Elf Name Generator. Oh pipe down Gurutphen, so it's not a list, it's fun. 


13. List of antibiotics. Blephamide sort of sounds like it could be an elf name, doesn't it? 


14. Top ten amazing holes in the earth. You think I'M copping out here? One of these is called the Great Blue Hole!


15. List of hysterical fridge notes, which I can't link to because one was too gross. Sorry.


16. 12 hilarious teachers' replies. This one should be safe. 


17. List of Pokémon by National Pokédex Number. Some of you will thank me for this some day. The rest of you, move along. 


18. List of the world's billionaires. You never know when you might need one. And to the Spanx chick - NO ONE DESERVES IT MORE. 


19. List of Challenged Books and Magazines in Canada from Februry 2012. Including that hot-button tome, Ziggy Piggy and the Three Little Pigs. 


20. List of Endangered Languages: Be a sport - learn Dzongkha today. Feel slightly guilty if you can't help chuckling ruefully when you learn that the last two fluent speakers of Ayapaneco aren't speaking to each other.


21. List of curry recipes. Yes, I have spent way too long on this list and I need to go make dinner. Too bad I don't have any snake gourd on hand. 


22. List of Kangaroo Words. Here is a good definition of kangaroo words, which I knew nothing about until two minutes ago and about which I am now ridiculously excited. 


23. List of positive affirmations. Because I feel like I reverted to my regular blog persona somewhat on this one, so I went a TOTAL OTHER WAY just to keep you off balance. See? I can be positive and affirmative or whatever. 

10 comments:

Nicole said...

This is the best list ever! Ever! Way better than 23 books you lied about - do people lie about books that much?

I think I have Automatonophobia.

Julie said...

you may now refer to me as Glamordis.

now i must go waste my time looking to see what movies i have seen with the over used songs. thanks for that.

Magpie said...

This is delicious.

StephLove said...

I taught a college class on horror for 6 years and I read a lot of term papers about evil children. I always told students who wanted to write on evil children that they had to either read The Bad Seed or watch the movie or they couldn't write the paper.

p.s. There's a blue hole (much smaller) in Ohio.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

I haven't had much free time for reading lately but ultimately I'm glad because I was just able to sit back and take my time reading all of your Scintilla posts. Now I have so many thoughts that I don't know which to pin so will wrap it up simply,
It was time well spent and I like the way you think and write.

A you sure Bunnies aren't venomous? ; )

clara said...

Oh very cool. So many things to click and look at!

My friend in high school swore her lucky number was 23 because the boy she had a crush on, his birthday was the 23rd. It's so good that I remember that.

Betsy B. Honest said...

My great gas crater, this is META. I didn’t click on the list of song’s that contained lists, because, yes, that is TOO META for me. You have opened my mind in important ways though. I’m not sure I’m smart enough to get all the joey words ... but I have an enthusiastic outlook on life. Shall I compare this to a summer’s day?

Betsy B. Honest said...

My great gas crater, this is META. I didn’t click on the list of song’s that contained lists, because, yes, that is TOO META for me. You have opened my mind in important ways though. I’m not sure I’m smart enough to get all the joey words ... but I have an enthusiastic outlook on life. Shall I compare this to a summer’s day?

Mary Lynn said...

I *swear* I posted a lengthy comment on here earlier today, so either I was hallucinating (which might be the case) or when I pressed Publish my words went drifting off into the darkest regions of the Internet never to be seen again.

Aaaaaaanyways, LOVE this post, though I've still only got half-way through. I'm a tad disappointed that the list of songs with lists doesn't mention I Am the Girl of 100 Lists by the Go-Go's. It's a fun/obscure fave of mine.

I would also have Kevin from We Need to Talk About Kevin on the evil fictional kids list.

The best list for me so far was the misunderstood literary lines one, because, wow--there were a bunch I did not know. Furthermore, I'm pretty sure I had teachers and profs who did not know. Very interesting.

No scratch that...my fave list is the list of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's schemes and inventions.

Krista said...

I love this. I want the fridge list tho :) oh, and snake gourd is not anywhere near as exciting as it's name - its actually kinda meh. :)