Digging a Hole for a Post

I've been ignoring all of your blogs because it helps me pretend I'm not writing because I don't have a blog, what? I don't even know what a blog is, what a funny word, blog blog blog, lalalalalala I can't hear you.

This week sucks much less than the last week Matt was away for the week, which was two weeks ago, what a funny word, week week week week. I always forget to reverse whine about my head not hurting - hey everyone! My head doesn't hurt this week! I have wrapped, I have taped, I have melted and beaten and creamed until light and fluffy. I have trod the mill and pumped the iron. I have done all this while still producing creative and nutritious meals every night (that's a bald-faced lie - this week has been brought to you by frozen pizza, grilled cheese and chicken wraps made from grocery store barbecued chicken. I just wanted to feel like Superwoman for a millisecond. It really wasn't me).

I'm slowly managing to separate the actual decorations from the boxes of shiny things that should actually be put away so we can enjoy the decorations without tripping over the boxes of shiny things. I'm not entirely sure why wrapping a shiny red and gold string around a stair bannister makes it a decoration and leaving it sitting in the box makes it infuriating aneurysm-inducing CRAP, I only know that it does.

I assembled the Christmas parcels to send away to Matt's family and got most of my Christmas cards written and then realized I couldn't find my pretty red address book with the whimsical drawing of a house on the front of it ANYWHERE. I emailed Matt in Japan and said if he didn't send me the addresses of the various family members the parcels weren't getting mailed. Somewhat to my chagrin, he emailed me most of the addresses. I emailed everyone else I knew and said send me your addresses or no Christmas card for you. Somewhat to my chagrin, most of them promptly sent their addresses. This reminds me of a page in a calendar I bought for one of Matt's family members. Oh look -- here it is. Thirty years ago, if I couldn't find my address book I could have had a brief tantrum, then thrown the cards away and kicked back with a bottle of wine. Now we have The Internet. What did we do before Google? Argue for hours over what the guy's name was, or who played the character, or what year the movie came out in? Live with uncertainty? Let me Google what we did before Google.

My friend Collette invited us over for dinner tonight - when people invite us over for dinner when Matt's away I always feel so incredibly overwhelmingly grateful it's all I can do not to insist that they come over for dinner instead (somehow I manage). She poured a couple of glasses of wine into me before dinner, which she may have regretted when Ben asked for a bun at the table and I yelled 'go long' and put a nice spiral on one. I told the kids to enjoy their dinner since we probably weren't getting asked back any time soon. And now I am sleepy. To all a good night.


Ms. G said…
Glad your heads ok! I still have an unused mantle cover crumpled on a side chair...OW!
Helen Abbott said…
La la la la la, I'm reading and commenting on your post to avoid the crapload of work I have to do! Great guffaw-inducing post.
Julie said…
i can't tell you how much a enjoyed that brief moment inside your head.

and sorry i was so eager with my address. i'll remember to send you a christmas-cards-can-suck-it email instead.
Mary Lynn said…
All the best dinners end in a bun-fight.

blog blog blog blog blog

It really is a funny word.
Nicole said…
Blog is a funny word.

Glad your head is feeling better! Also glad you're not superwoman. Superwomen are WEIRD.
StephLove said…
I'm glad your head doesn't hurt. And congrats on the wrapping, baking, X-mas card fiasco-avoiding.

Our cards are not mailed yet. They're not even in the house yet. Nothing baked, some wrapping done (but only because it was free in the store).
Pam said…
Love the Google cartoon. I'd be so lost without my Google friends!
blogity blog blog. Tee hee. I'm amused.
Wrath Of Mom said…
Let me Google what we did before Google. -- HAHAHA!

We are in the middle of a basement renovation, so our house has been cluttered and messy for months. Now it's cluttered and messy and covered in sparkles and tinsel and garlands.

Garlands. Garlands. GAAAAAAAAAR-lands. That's a funny word, too.
harriet glynn said…
Go long! Awesome. We had eggnog, chips and cookies for dinner tonight. And hot chocolate (duh! of course!)
If I ever have the pleasure of having you over for dinner, I'll be sure to ply you with wine before I place the buns in front of you. I'd like a repeat performance.

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