Mediocre Pictures of the Day of AWESOME

Mostly it was awesome because, you know why?

Because I wasn't on a FUCKING FIELD TRIP, that's why.

Not that this wasn't fun:

Okay, actually it wasn't that fun. It was fun going with the kindergarten class. OH MY GOD, A COW. OH MY GOD, A HORSE. OH MY GOD, A TRACTOR. Seven and eight year olds are just too freaking jaded. I found it mildly amusing when our guide told them to try not to freak out and laugh and shriek when the animals, ahem, relieved themselves, because it was upsetting and unsettling for the animals. I wanted to pat the woman on the shoulder and console her for having just uttered possibly the most useless statement anyone has spoken, ever.

I was soundly vindicated some moments later. OH MY GOD, IT'S PEEING!!!!!!!!

The only fun part was when I found my friend Collette who was there with her daughter's class and we sat on a bench watching the kids play on the play structure and talking about how badly we would suck as teachers:

Me: "Yeah, it would be bad. I'd have favourites, and I wouldn't bother to hide it. I would always pick the same kid to take the attendance list to the office."
Collette: "I'd be even worse. I'd have kids I didn't like, and I wouldn't bother to hide it. I'd be all, 'put your hand down Bobby, no one cares what you think'."

That was awesome.

So anyway, today. My Mom told me yesterday that she had decided that for my birthday she would plant my front planter for me. This is possibly the best idea I have heard ever. Of course, being my Mom, she was on my doorstep with bags of dirt and a bunch of plants by the time I wandered down from the shower, or I would have a 'before' picture, which would really bring home the full effect of this gift. Sadly, the lopsided display of overplanted grape hyacinths and the one measly yellow tulip with its mutant dandelion offspring went unphotographed.

But you still get that this is WAY BETTER, right?:

While my mother was slaving in the heat and dirt, I swanned off with Pam to buy linens, since the other night I rolled over and bed and my toe caught on something and there was a loud ripping noise. Shut up, it was a tiny hole in the bottom sheet becoming a great big gaping hole in the bottom sheet. So we went to The Linen Chest, where a lovely woman who I think might have been just a tiny bit high kept telling us that if we needed help to call her Rebecca - or maybe it was if we needed help to call her, Rebecca - and then she talked about how my smile was lovely and real and we - Pamela and Allison, which were beautiful real names - were warm, which was good because cold people sucked her energy. Then she gave us chocolate, so it was all good. I bought green sheets with tiny subtle polka dots in them.

Then we went to Pier One where I picked this up, ON A WHIM:

(Guys! It has CUPHOLDERS!)

...and this REALLY NICE warehouse guy helped us load it in the van. Then we went to Red Lobster for lunch and our server was named KAITLYN - and YES, she totally fit into the parade of INSANELY HELPFUL and possibly slightly chemically altered service people that came our way in the day of awesome.

Then we came home. And before I went to pick the kids up for school, I was looking out in the backyard at the cardboard wrapped chair pieces that my lovely husband has since assembled into an actual chair, and there was a fly buzzing around. So I opened the screen door - and it flew out.

See? Awe. Some.


Pam said…
Awe-SOME baby! I could totally live in that chair. And then you could invite your new BFF Rebecca over for chocolate and maybe your other new bouncy friend Kaitlyn could take away any remaining stress by bringing us cocktails to put in the cup holder. We may get up periodically to admire the fab garden. Brilliant!
Amber said…
It's Peeing! That is hilarious. And I'd be the worst teacher ever. I don't think I could ever even do field trips. Seriously. Don't know how you do it.
Julie said…
ok, what linen chest did you go to. i think i need to roll around on the sheets that rebecca gets to sleep in.

and i want that chair. what's your address again? i want to come steal it, um i mean look at it.
Nicole said…
OMG, I love people like that woman at the Linen Chest. I love when people are so happy and high like that. I also think that more people should be like Chris from Parks and Rec. I want people to go around saying "That is LITERALLY the best idea I have ever heard. This is LITERALLY the greatest cup of coffee I have ever tasted." Don't you think?

In sad juxtaposition to this line of thinking, I would be totally like your friend Collette. "Whatever kid, no one cares what you think."
Why do I never run into slightly spacey sales people? Maybe it's the same as the craft show thing where no one talks to me out here. Or does no one talk to anyone out here? I should go to Ottawa to shop and figure out if it's a me or them issue.
alison said…
OK, I'm jaded with the peeing having been, as you know, peed on by a turtle this week. I big puffy heart the cool chair with the cupholders. I want one. I've had a run of sales people who resemble Irish Setters -- they're friendly and enthusiastic, but not very bright.
Ms. G said…
That was an Awesome day and so is your mom. Can I borrow her?

Did you check that chocolate before you ate it? ; )
Gwen said…
LOL! Dan went on the kindergarten field trip with the twinnies to the Experimental Farm on Friday. They were amazed by all the animals: "OH MY GOD A GOAT!". Katie was profoundly disappointed because she wanted to bring me home a dead cow and was hoping to spot one at the farm. children are odd.

Totally love the chair!!!!!!!! The cup holders ARE the best bit! :)

Happy Birthday.
Betsy said…
Happy Birthday.

I'm going to go swanning off to do things as much as possible now that you've added that to my vocabulary.

Just what I needed!
Amber Strocel said…
Love the chair!

And score on the fly. Every insect I've ever tried to save, EVER, has fought me tooth and nail. It's like they have a death wish or something. Stupid bugs.
Shan said…
I love that chair. I could totally waste hours reading books in that thing. I love your awesome day! You and your friend are total Jersey Girl material!
Sandra said…
Oh please, you think you two described something different than what actually goes on classrooms? All my kids have teachers who clearly demonstrate their faves and the ones they hate. I happen to have a favoured child and a hated child, so I know that it's happening. The difference between you two and the teachers is that you'd at least have the balls to admit it.
Oh, and love your impulse buy at Pier One!
Jes Lacasse said…
I have, no question, been holped by Rebecca at the Linen Chest. Always high.

That chair is super-boss and I may require one for my gentleman friend's balcony.

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