Knowing Me Knowing You May 2011

So just when I'm in the depths of blog despair, whining "but I don't FEEL like blogging" and "I don't know what to BLOG about" and "should I ask them if this looks infected?", in swoops my Fairy Blogmother who wallops me with a magic wand and says "Quit your bitching! Bibbity bobbity boo, here's a ready-made post for you."

1. What was your wedding song?

Sunshine on Leith by The Proclaimers (500 Miles is still my favourite Proclaimers song, but it would have been a slightly less romantic first dance). And I'm not about to trash talk anyone who got married in a glass slipper. I wore ballet slippers to walk down the aisle but only because my Mom said she would disown me if I wore my Doc Martens the whole time. There was a great moment when my sister called out "Allison, can you flash your boots so this gentleman can take a picture" and I lifted my skirt up and Matt's uncle said "oh thank God, I thought she said boobs!"

2. If you could guest star on any TV show, which one would you pick?

Are you kidding? The camera puts on ten pounds. If I'm pretending I'm not me? Buffy the Vampire Slayer (okay, I'd need a time machine too, but time travel is no more less likely than me ever voluntarily going on television, unlike my daughter, who is getting up at stupid o'clock in the morning on Wednesday just to stand there and look cute in her baseball uniform in the background of Ottawa A Channel's morning show, and telling everyone she meets that she's going to be on TV).

3. What is your favourite children's book?

Oh sure, why don't you just ask me who's my favourite child? Let's say The House at Pooh Corner. "And being now Completely Unsettled, he said very quickly and squeakily: 'This is a trap for Poohs, and I'm waiting to fall in it, ho-ho, what's all this, and then I say ho-ho again.'" Also, I love Eeyore - he's such a mopey bitch.

4. Did you watch the Royal Wedding?

Nope. Then again, I've never watched my own wedding video (the camera - ten pounds - try to keep up). I did see clips of it (the Royal Wedding, not mine), and I don't really get the dress. Sure, she looked nice, but she would have looked nice in anything - and the thing on her head kind of left me cold. My husband liked it (of course - he once told me that, of the four women on Sex and the City, he only liked Charlotte, the conservative one, as if this would surprise me, bless him.) About Kate's dress he said "well, I like that they didn't try to do anything too funky." Because yeah, at a royal wedding, the big danger was that anything was going to be 'too funky' -- "well Frank, I think we're all agreed that the Queen should not have gone with the leather bustier".

5. What is your favourite thing to have off the barbecue?

I'm pretty sure you could grill a piece of chipboard and it would be good. I gag on green beans - unless they're barbecued. I don't really like steak - until someone puts one on the barbecue. The exception is hot dogs - my hot dogs must not have grill marks, and I really prefer them flabby and boiled (I know, so wrong, but what about hot dogs isn't, really?)