Sunday, May 8, 2011

Knowing Me Knowing You May 2011

So just when I'm in the depths of blog despair, whining "but I don't FEEL like blogging" and "I don't know what to BLOG about" and "should I ask them if this looks infected?", in swoops my Fairy Blogmother who wallops me with a magic wand and says "Quit your bitching! Bibbity bobbity boo, here's a ready-made post for you."

1. What was your wedding song?

Sunshine on Leith by The Proclaimers (500 Miles is still my favourite Proclaimers song, but it would have been a slightly less romantic first dance). And I'm not about to trash talk anyone who got married in a glass slipper. I wore ballet slippers to walk down the aisle but only because my Mom said she would disown me if I wore my Doc Martens the whole time. There was a great moment when my sister called out "Allison, can you flash your boots so this gentleman can take a picture" and I lifted my skirt up and Matt's uncle said "oh thank God, I thought she said boobs!"

2. If you could guest star on any TV show, which one would you pick?

Are you kidding? The camera puts on ten pounds. If I'm pretending I'm not me? Buffy the Vampire Slayer (okay, I'd need a time machine too, but time travel is no more less likely than me ever voluntarily going on television, unlike my daughter, who is getting up at stupid o'clock in the morning on Wednesday just to stand there and look cute in her baseball uniform in the background of Ottawa A Channel's morning show, and telling everyone she meets that she's going to be on TV).

3. What is your favourite children's book?

Oh sure, why don't you just ask me who's my favourite child? Let's say The House at Pooh Corner. "And being now Completely Unsettled, he said very quickly and squeakily: 'This is a trap for Poohs, and I'm waiting to fall in it, ho-ho, what's all this, and then I say ho-ho again.'" Also, I love Eeyore - he's such a mopey bitch.

4. Did you watch the Royal Wedding?

Nope. Then again, I've never watched my own wedding video (the camera - ten pounds - try to keep up). I did see clips of it (the Royal Wedding, not mine), and I don't really get the dress. Sure, she looked nice, but she would have looked nice in anything - and the thing on her head kind of left me cold. My husband liked it (of course - he once told me that, of the four women on Sex and the City, he only liked Charlotte, the conservative one, as if this would surprise me, bless him.) About Kate's dress he said "well, I like that they didn't try to do anything too funky." Because yeah, at a royal wedding, the big danger was that anything was going to be 'too funky' -- "well Frank, I think we're all agreed that the Queen should not have gone with the leather bustier".

5. What is your favourite thing to have off the barbecue?

I'm pretty sure you could grill a piece of chipboard and it would be good. I gag on green beans - unless they're barbecued. I don't really like steak - until someone puts one on the barbecue. The exception is hot dogs - my hot dogs must not have grill marks, and I really prefer them flabby and boiled (I know, so wrong, but what about hot dogs isn't, really?)

14 comments:

Mary Lynn said...

I kind of prefer plain ol' boiled hotdogs, too.

I have a good friend who, back in the day, used to give me SUCH a hard time for my love of my Doc Martens. I had Docs in three different colours at the time, so it wasn't like I didn't have some variety in my footwear. Yeesh.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

1. Beautiful choice! I love The Proclaimers and I actually tried to convince my daughter to use 500 Miles as her wedding march because it would have been accurately hysterical but she was a wienie..with grill marks. Fist Bump for Buffy!

Nicole said...

You totally should have flashed your boobs. That would have been a super classy wedding photo. My song was "You Are The Sunshine of My Life" by Frank Sinatra. Because one of the first times we had sex we had a Frank Sinatra CD on! Romance! Skanky romance!

On the subject of skankiness, I would guest star on Grey's Anatomy only if I could play Mark Sloan's love interest. Rrrr.

Nan | WrathOfMom said...

I'm pretty sure I could have happily gone my whole life never knowing the answer to the question "Which member of the Rat Pack was playing in the background one of the first times Nicole & Mr Nicole knocked boots?"

I love that you wore Doc Martens for part of your wedding!

The best part of Kate Middleton's dress was that it looked like something she chose and NOT (as was the case w/ Diana who hated her dress) something she was strong armed into wearing by aides, handlers & designers.

Bridget said...

LOL, this is hysterical! I too, would not star on TV for the same reason (yep, I kept up ;)

While I did not watch the wedding, I loved Kate's dress. It was gorgeous.

I love just about anything that can be thrown on a grill. My favorite is steak, though.

Suniverse said...

500 Miles? Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Let's be BFFs.

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

I didn't have a wedding song because we were too poor to have dancing at our wedding. What a terribly sad story, I know.

I was hoping for Kate to grab Will's ass when they kissed, but if the Queen flashed a peek of her leather bustier that would have made me even happier. Wedding of the Century!

Pam said...

Eeyore rocks. Never tried grilled chipboard but I'll give it a go with some hot sauce. Proclaimers are pure awesomeness. And you could do any TV show you wanted but they wouldn't take you because you'd outshine them skinny bitches, hands down.

Shan said...

Glad I could save your bacon! Also... flash your boobs... that's funny. Just to clarify I didn't actually wear a glass slipper, but there was one there. I wore ridiculously uncomfortable heels though. My husband likes boiled weenies, but I prefer them bbqed. Also I'm willing to give that chipboard a try too.

Sandra said...

So is there anything else you like flabby and boiled?...ok, I tried to make that sexual but it came out wrong.
I was trying to be as funny commenting here as you are at my place! You always make me laugh out loud!

Magpie said...

You had a wedding song?

You watch TV?

Oh, never mind.

Fame Throwa said...

Turtlehead wanted 500 Miles for the first dance at her wedding, too! I think they could have done it but instead used it as their last dance.

Holly said...

My son could live on grill marks but will not even look at one if he suspects it has one little grill mark. I have never understood this--what isn't better grilled?

Amber said...

I do have to say, I far preferred Kate's dress to that ridiculous meringue that Diana wore. But I may be the only woman ever who wasn't a fan of Diana's dress, so there's that.