In which I state the blindingly obvious, with GREAT EMPHASIS
So I've come to the conclusion that I was REALLY DEPRESSED for most of February and March! That sleeping until eleven or twelve after the kids were off to school and not being able to get off the couch and telling myself comforting things like "oh well, so I'm lazy and worthless and probably not entitled to really take up space in the world - it's okay, my kids might amount to something" was NOT actually a moment of insight, but an indication that I was SEVERELY MELANCHOLIC and probably needed some help.
Upon coming to this realization, I marched upstairs to where my husband was innocently watching some kind of event in which overpaid sweaty mercenaries throw stuff or hit stuff with sticks or run around like idiots, and ambushed him with "EXCUSE ME. Did it not occur to you at any time in the last few weeks that I might be SEVERELY DEPRESSED?" I was all ready to club him with the time when Eve was a baby and I was going back on a low-estrogen birth control pill which had made me kind of loony with Angus, and I asked my husband to keep an eye on me for evidence of looniness, and then I became convinced that a woman from his preschool program who really liked him and offered to babysit was going to kidnap my children, and I reverse-directoried her phone number and drove by her house and copied down her license plate number and then one morning I woke him up and said "You know how I've been convinced that Maggie was going to kidnap the kids and I drove by her house and copied down her license plate number? Did you not think that was LOONY ENOUGH to maybe raise some concerns?"
So that occasion, on which he acquitted himself LESS THAN ADMIRABLY was on my mind. But at this point, he just said calmly "well, seeing as how you've been sicker than you've been in years and coughed until you broke all the blood vessels in your eyes and chest and shoulders, and the one inhaler that worked made you throw up for three days straight, and we weren't sure the antibiotics they gave you were approved for human usage, it seemed like maybe depression was a REASONABLE REACTION."
So I said "Fine. Shut up. I hate you." Because now I've totally turned the corner, and I'm back to my logical sweet self.
Upon coming to this realization, I marched upstairs to where my husband was innocently watching some kind of event in which overpaid sweaty mercenaries throw stuff or hit stuff with sticks or run around like idiots, and ambushed him with "EXCUSE ME. Did it not occur to you at any time in the last few weeks that I might be SEVERELY DEPRESSED?" I was all ready to club him with the time when Eve was a baby and I was going back on a low-estrogen birth control pill which had made me kind of loony with Angus, and I asked my husband to keep an eye on me for evidence of looniness, and then I became convinced that a woman from his preschool program who really liked him and offered to babysit was going to kidnap my children, and I reverse-directoried her phone number and drove by her house and copied down her license plate number and then one morning I woke him up and said "You know how I've been convinced that Maggie was going to kidnap the kids and I drove by her house and copied down her license plate number? Did you not think that was LOONY ENOUGH to maybe raise some concerns?"
So that occasion, on which he acquitted himself LESS THAN ADMIRABLY was on my mind. But at this point, he just said calmly "well, seeing as how you've been sicker than you've been in years and coughed until you broke all the blood vessels in your eyes and chest and shoulders, and the one inhaler that worked made you throw up for three days straight, and we weren't sure the antibiotics they gave you were approved for human usage, it seemed like maybe depression was a REASONABLE REACTION."
So I said "Fine. Shut up. I hate you." Because now I've totally turned the corner, and I'm back to my logical sweet self.
Comments
Glad you are on the mend!
Sorry, I suck at being a proper friend. Blind leading blind and all that with my sucky Feb/March too. Alas, it is APRIL now and we WILL get out and whomp any lasting melancholy out of us, if it is the last thing we do. Or maybe whip up a few purple martinis and see how that works. Cheers Babe. (You still totally ROCK, even in the depths of winter.)
Maybe I shouldn't be laughing. But I'm glad you are feeling like you again. And I wish I lived closer to you so we could have some medicinal margaritas. And I would NOT try to kidnap your kids.
Glad you are starting to feel better and back to yourself.
That's a big fat wad of depression and illness.
I'm glad you're doing better.
I'm even more glad that while I have never reverse-directoried anyone, I have committed other manners of crazy, and I see that I'm not alone. Thanks for that.
But it wasn't until reading it from you that I really turned that around on myself. Glad you're feeling better & can see where you are in the spiral. May we both climb out of it.
I like your "crazy". Unfortunately, I got the same ideas into my head but I didn't suffer from PPD or any other ailments. I had a LIST of potential "baby snatchers". It consisted of 18 names. Mum was REALLY ticked off when she discovered HER name on my list!
And what was looney? Shoot, good work..! ; )
Now that spring is here, seems like a bad idea.
And I still think that maybe he should have offered some help or something. But I'm a blamer, not necessarily a lover, so you may want to ignore me. ;)