Thursday, April 7, 2011

In which I state the blindingly obvious, with GREAT EMPHASIS

So I've come to the conclusion that I was REALLY DEPRESSED for most of February and March! That sleeping until eleven or twelve after the kids were off to school and not being able to get off the couch and telling myself comforting things like "oh well, so I'm lazy and worthless and probably not entitled to really take up space in the world - it's okay, my kids might amount to something" was NOT actually a moment of insight, but an indication that I was SEVERELY MELANCHOLIC and probably needed some help.

Upon coming to this realization, I marched upstairs to where my husband was innocently watching some kind of event in which overpaid sweaty mercenaries throw stuff or hit stuff with sticks or run around like idiots, and ambushed him with "EXCUSE ME. Did it not occur to you at any time in the last few weeks that I might be SEVERELY DEPRESSED?" I was all ready to club him with the time when Eve was a baby and I was going back on a low-estrogen birth control pill which had made me kind of loony with Angus, and I asked my husband to keep an eye on me for evidence of looniness, and then I became convinced that a woman from his preschool program who really liked him and offered to babysit was going to kidnap my children, and I reverse-directoried her phone number and drove by her house and copied down her license plate number and then one morning I woke him up and said "You know how I've been convinced that Maggie was going to kidnap the kids and I drove by her house and copied down her license plate number? Did you not think that was LOONY ENOUGH to maybe raise some concerns?"

So that occasion, on which he acquitted himself LESS THAN ADMIRABLY was on my mind. But at this point, he just said calmly "well, seeing as how you've been sicker than you've been in years and coughed until you broke all the blood vessels in your eyes and chest and shoulders, and the one inhaler that worked made you throw up for three days straight, and we weren't sure the antibiotics they gave you were approved for human usage, it seemed like maybe depression was a REASONABLE REACTION."

So I said "Fine. Shut up. I hate you." Because now I've totally turned the corner, and I'm back to my logical sweet self.

17 comments:

Nan | WrathOfMom said...

The good news is that even while depressed you kept your sense of humour. And now that you are no longer suffering through a depressive period you are EVEN funnier!

Glad you are on the mend!

Pam said...

Ah, husbands can be OH SO HELPFUL at times. Don't they GET what they are supposed to do without a flashing neon SIGN?!
Sorry, I suck at being a proper friend. Blind leading blind and all that with my sucky Feb/March too. Alas, it is APRIL now and we WILL get out and whomp any lasting melancholy out of us, if it is the last thing we do. Or maybe whip up a few purple martinis and see how that works. Cheers Babe. (You still totally ROCK, even in the depths of winter.)

Nicole said...

OMG you are so funny. Honestly, did that happen? When I had PPD I became convinced that if I took the baby out of the stroller while in a public place I would somehow drop him/damage him/ lose him. It all seemed so rational then.

Maybe I shouldn't be laughing. But I'm glad you are feeling like you again. And I wish I lived closer to you so we could have some medicinal margaritas. And I would NOT try to kidnap your kids.

the queen said...

I love you.

Bridget said...

Guys can be so clueless sometimes...

Glad you are starting to feel better and back to yourself.

Allison P. said...

That was simply one of the best blog postings I have read in a long time! (Especially b/c I'm peeved at my own husband right now and choosing to ignore his very existence. I needed to read that!)

Suniverse said...

Oh! Holy crap.

That's a big fat wad of depression and illness.

I'm glad you're doing better.

I'm even more glad that while I have never reverse-directoried anyone, I have committed other manners of crazy, and I see that I'm not alone. Thanks for that.

Eryn said...

I had a conversation with another mama last week where I said things like "depression WANTS you to lay on the couch & miss deadlines & put off the house work so you feel crappy about yourself."

But it wasn't until reading it from you that I really turned that around on myself. Glad you're feeling better & can see where you are in the spiral. May we both climb out of it.

Julie said...

i'm glad you have turned the corner. i sort of wondered after one of your posts if you were in a bit of a darker place, but it seems like the sun is shinnnig again. yeah! and a day trip to montreal in may will clear any of the rest of the dark corners out.

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

I'm not a hugger but I would so hug you if we met. Even if I had to chase you down to do it. ;) So glad that things are looking up.

alison said...

Was it wrong to laugh at this? I hope not, it was really funny. And we should meet at Kettleman's soon for a coffee and a bagel, and I will tell you (out of children's hearing) about what I did once in the reverse-directory subject area.

Gwen said...

I'm actually impresses that your husband noticed that you were sick. This winter, all 5 of us got the stomach flu. Dan SWEARS that the stomach flu passed me over. Umm...no. I had the stomach flu, just like everyone else. But I had to keep on going. So, well done, your husband!

I like your "crazy". Unfortunately, I got the same ideas into my head but I didn't suffer from PPD or any other ailments. I had a LIST of potential "baby snatchers". It consisted of 18 names. Mum was REALLY ticked off when she discovered HER name on my list!

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

True, you do find the funny no matter what but I'm glad you turned that corner : )

And what was looney? Shoot, good work..! ; )

Shan said...

I'm glad you've turned a corner. You are awesome!!

Kelly @ MillerMix said...

So glad you've turned that corner. I still cough every morning since I was sick in Dec-Jan. One day that inflammation will disappear!

Betsy B. Honest said...

It's always those last few weeks of winter that make me consider chewing my own face off.

Now that spring is here, seems like a bad idea.

Amber said...

I'm glad you're out the other side.

And I still think that maybe he should have offered some help or something. But I'm a blamer, not necessarily a lover, so you may want to ignore me. ;)