Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Also, wtf was with Christian Bale's beard?

I can't just leave the cranky book review post lying there, even though I've really got nothing.

I'm less sick, just feeling kind of out of it. I went to an Oscars dinner party on Sunday night (well duh, going to an Oscars party on some other night would have been kind of moronic) and drank a bunch of whiskey sours, which I've determined to be good medicine indeed. I made "The Fighter" cauliflower (ear) fritters with smoked salmon and crème fraiche, and caramelized cashews with maple syrup and cumin (because the mother was nuts). I never used to watch the Oscars until my friend Collette had the brilliant idea of tying it to stuffing our faces. I read in the paper the day after that some people thought Melissa Leo should have been more prepared and professional, and this would have avoided the vocabulary malfunction (which apparently only we in Canada got to hear -- lucky us). Prepared and professional? Dude, her profession is acting, which means she acts how somebody tells her to and says words that are written down for her by somebody else. She was being professional -- how many professional actors don't swear at least seven times a sentence in real life? I remember somebody who did a movie with Melanie Griffith and said she couldn't say two words without a curse between them - a weiner in a bun was a 'hot fucking dog'.

I thought Anne Hathaway was adorable, but then I kind of have a crush on her. James Franco was high as a bloody kite or half asleep, or possibly channeling Charlie Sheen. I kept wondering if he was handing the winners their Oscar statue and telling them 'you put your weed in there'.

There was one man who won for one of the less-sexy awards - sound editing or something - who said at the end of his speech 'let the record show that I'm not wearing jeans'. I turned to Matt and said 'I totally thought he was going to say underwear'.

I often regret that I don't have more chances to use the word 'obviate'.

8 comments:

Nicole said...

WHAT WAS WITH THAT BEARD? I used to think he was something fine indeed, but what up with the gross wiry beard?

Also, please tell me how to make caramelized cashews with cumin? Please?

Kelly said...

That beard made me uncomfortable. It was totally eating his face.

Nan | WrathOfMom said...

I don't think it's wise to mock Christian Bale. The man's anger issues make Russell Crowe look like a pussy cat.

If there is one thing I have learned from Twitter, it is that actors (in general) should not be allowed to communicate directly w/ the public. Their words should be crafted by professional writers AND vetted by publicists. Yes, Nathan Fillion, I'm looking at you!

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

This is the first Oscars in forever that I haven't watched. Sunday was the only day I could arrange babysitting with our sitter so we took the chance and ran. We saw Black Swan and ate steak at the Keg, and I probably enjoyed that more than watching a wack-a-doo beard. :)

Pauline said...

I'm not a fan of these award shows, but the food you made for the occasion sounds fantastic!:)

Pamela said...

What was up with that beard? I love Christian Bale though so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt - maybe it was for a role for Christ, or something?
I watched for James Franco, who I have a crush on, but yeah, I think you're right about the pot thing.

Bridget said...

Didn't see the Oscars, but totally love views on them. Too funny!

Fame Throwa said...

I actually watched the whole show this year, which I don't often do. I think I was fixated by the train wreck that was Anne Hathaway. Adorable? Uh-uh! Totally nauseating? For sure!

Bale's beard makes me confident he'll make an excellent old man, but the thing makes his head look super long, out of proportion. Hope it doesn't stick around.