Smells like a Funny Friday

I actually slept last night, which means several things seem funny this morning that wouldn't have for the last few days. Like Elvira Kurt doing the cultural hall of shame on Q this morning -- talking about Willow Smith, Will Smith's daughter and her insanely catchy new song: "she's nine! Twenty is like the new ninety now. Parents everywhere are telling their kids 'put down the juicebox, get up from naptime and get to work on your brand!" 

Okay, I probably would have found that funny anyway. How about this? Our first Halloween party of the season is tomorrow night and we're all being Greek god/desses. Eve has decided that she is Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty -- we're just leaving the whole sex part out for now, especially after the other day when I finally gave it to her dead straight about making babies, after she said "I understand how I can get things like loving books from you, but I don't get how I can get things from Daddy." "Well, the seed comes from Daddy." "But how?" "You sure you want to know?" "Yes." "It comes from his penis. It goes in my vagina. It fertilizes the egg and then grows into a baby in my belly." "----- okay, I'm so grossed out now I can't look at you and I have to go away for a while. I'm going to try to forget that you told me that, and if I ask you again, DON'T TELL ME." 

My costume says Athena. Goddess of wisdom. And war, but apparently she disliked fighting for no reason and tried to settle disputes with wisdom. I'll have to remember that the next time I feel like saying "quit kicking the table leg or I'll beat you senseless!" and say something like "please stop kicking the table leg or I will beat you with my senses" instead. Angus wanted to be Poseidon but the only costume was Hercules, so I guess we can just glue a dead fish to his shoulder and maybe drape some seaweed over him. Matt's getting the leftovers of the other three costumes -- I'm thinking cross-dressing Dionysus or something. 

Not funny enough? You know that awesome old spice commercial? Have you seen the version done by this handsome fellow? And if you haven't seen cat vs. printer with translation on Facebook yet, it seriously does a body good. Although I'm not sure how the cat or the printer made out.


Ms. G said…
Thank you for this post that I just laughed my way through from beginning to end. It did me a world of good: )
Pamela said…
Oh, your post was plenty funny enough on its own! I love how you handled "the talk" - I'm already worrying about that - all my son knows is that babies come from seeds & he keeps asking me if I can get more "baby seeds" to grow!
I'm impressed with the Halloween costume line-up. I know the names of the Greek gods but I don't know much else. I feel like I should study up.
KLZ said…
So, is Will Smith just taking over the world and creating his own empire? With his children?
Pam said…
Ow! I do believe I have injured myself laughing. Thanks for the great video links! My cat does weird things when the printer starts too. Grover is one of mostest favouritest monsters ever. Bahahaha!
Anonymous said…
I am killing myself over Eve's reaction to the birds and the bees. Hee!

Also? When my own daughter wants the straight goods, I think I'll just send her to this post. See? Not only are you making me laugh, you're saving me from awkward parenting moments.
The Mayor! said…
Dionysus is the God of wine....I wouldn't complain about that costume lol! And give the boy a Trident, instant Poseidon lol! Thnx for linking up, I so laughed my ass off at the cat! My sister sent me Grover last week, just priceless...have you seen "True Mud"?? Sesame Street's take on True Blood!
Sleep does wonders for my sense of humor.

Maybe Angus could just carry some cans of Tuna fish to convey that he is Poseidon.
Anonymous said…
OMG, Eve is my favourite!
Nicole said…
Oh, I'm dying!!!! I AM DYING. She was so grossed out, that if she asked again don't tell her! That is the best. THE BEST. That's pretty much how I felt when my mom gave me the talk.
I like "if I ask you again, don't tell me" - I've never been that smart.
Magpie said…
LOL - and ew, don't tell me!
Rosemary said…
Being almost 9 months pregnant our table conversation has turned to not how the baby 'got there' but how it's going to get out. I pretty much gave Holly (7) the straight goods. She looked at me like I was crazy (which I kinda am) and then asked why I don't ask for the 'special spray' to put me to sleep so that the doctor can just take the baby out and I won't have to feel a thing. 'Special spray' - gotta ask about that. :) And thank you SO MUCH for that cat video.
Julie said…
elivira kurt makes me laugh every time i hear her. i love q.

damn work filters, they are blocking the cat video!!
Amber said…
Oh my god, this is all funny stuff. Love the family costume idea.

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