I just sat pondering my latest spam offering for so long that I really feel like I have to share it. It's like a found poem, like a hymn sung by a crackhead angel -- it seems that if I puzzle it out and move some words around and read it aloud in the proper tone of voice I might just unlock the mysteries of the universe:

cruel Julian with Grub and Deuterium oxide

you can tangible a unquestionable life.

I usual in actually, it's implausible so roll in on an ry it, do it sporadically!

Mini Chill? contains a familiar commingling of herbs and amino acids called Relarian?

that has been proven, in published clinical trials not not to not unexpectedly curb accentuate and eagerness,

but to in act improve your heavens and enhance mentally ill gamble a accidentally on!

Mini Chill? doesn't liaison drowsiness,

so whether you're in the medial of a stressful hour at kisser all out

or enjoying a lifetime silly with your friends

Mini Chill? is guaranteed to bring back your day.

Brilliant, yes? Who hasn't found themselves in the medial of a stressful hour at kisser or run afoul of cruel Julian and wished for something small and cold to enhance their mentally ill gamble? And the daring use of the triple negative (not not to not)? I stand in awe.

Have an implausible Monday. Do it sporadically!


Anonymous said…
I almost just choked on my assorted sub. I know there is irony in that somewhere.
Nicole said…
I'm really, really glad "that has been proven, in published clinical trials not not to not unexpectedly curb accentuate and eagerness", because I would hate to have my accentuate and eagerness unexpectedly curbed.
Ms. G said…
That must be a scam because they told me
"Guntur Gallery render World sing new he England software owners the sovereign the alsoto himself million to a national s face influenced football"
*sniff* It's a beautiful piece and spoke to my heart.
SuziCate said…
like a hymn sung by a crackhead angel - ha, it sure is!Love it!
Kelly Miller said…
I'm with SuziCate. You had me at crackhead angel!
Mary Lynn said…
Heck, who doesn't enjoy a lifetime silly with their friends?

I do love the nonsensical spam.
Anonymous said…
I'm sure that spoems will be the next big art form. Right up there with badly translated instructions on home electronic devices.

Also? I did have an implausible Monday. But only sporadically. I feel that this is a sign of my highly evolved and artistic nature.
Amber said…
I love it! Hey, I've been looking for something that "doesn't liaison drowsiness" perhaps Mini Chill is just what I need!
Julie said…
I think you need to start a blog tou. Spoem Sponday. But. do it sporadically!
Patti Murphy said…
Feel tangential in cresting.

Holy fraught corns!
Pam said…
Damn right I can tangible a unquestionable life! Pass the Mini Chill. I feel smarter already.
Pamela said…
That explains it - I HAVE been in the medial of a stressful hour at kisser all out!
alison said…
Please pass the Mini Chill.
Average Girl said…
Finger snaps, and nodding of beret wearing head.
The Mayor! said…
So how come I get all the porn spam?? What am I doing wrong??? Or is it right...hmmmm
Betsy B. Honest said…
Oh gawd I'm laughing so hard right now.

I think you should submit this to a literary magazine.


You could be Canada's first spoet laureate.

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