A Vicious Campaign of Abuse and Neglect

Eve had a great birthday party on Saturday (more on that later). On Sunday (her actual birthday) the little girl from next door (who had come to the birthday party an hour early at noon and went home at 9:30 p.m. on Saturday) came over again and they played with birthday presents for hours, rejecting all offers of food and completely ignoring or shooing away all the adults in their general vicinity. Then, around eight o'clock, Eve came into the family room, looked at Matt and said reproachfully, "you know Daddy, I think only three people said happy birthday to me today. And none of them were you."

Angus went to a 'At Home on My Own' course on Saturday (to spare him the shrieky giggly joy of thirteen little girls painting aprons and baking monkey bread). They taught him a lot of logical, fairly obvious things that we probably had already told him, but somehow learning them in a classroom makes them seem more official. He came home with a certificate that Matt says he's pretty sure is 'legal permission to abandon our kid'. Angus's favourite thing was a list of things it said to answer yes or no to, such as "if you have a house key, you should keep it out in the open," "If you lose your house key you should make sure to tell everyone that it's lost", and "you should print your address on your house key in case you forget it". Angus was lunging around yelling "hey everyone, I lost my house key -- if you find it, make sure to go break into my house, the address is right on it!".

When Angus got home, he took one look at the remaining little girls and decided to retreat to my Mom and Dad's house for a sleepover. To give you a sense of how stringent the rules are at my Mom and Dad's house are, once I asked him if he wanted me to pack any toys or games as he was headed over there and he said, "Nah, I'm just gonna watch TV and eat stuff." When Matt went to pick him up, my Mom asked if he ever eats dinner when he comes home from her place. Matt said yes, he eats a full dinner. My Mom said 'well, the way he eats here, you'd think you never feed him', and Angus said 'that's right, they don't!' Matt made a disbelieving face at him, and Angus retorted, 'all you ever feed me is breakfast, lunch and dinner!'

I don't know how we've managed not to have them removed from our care. Such as it is.


Anonymous said…
You've got to love grandparents. My daughter tells me all the time how much NICER my mother-in-law is than me. This makes my husband laugh, since apparently his experience was a little less 'all the chocolate milk and TV you want' than hers has been.
Julie said…
Ha! Now, how old does the jellybean have to be before we can get that certificate?

And grandparents? They'll do anything to get out of listening to a kid whine and cry!
Lynn said…
Hee hee...loved this post! Angus is such a cut-up.

What did Eve get for her birthday that was so consuming? I want some for my girls!

And in other news, my husband laughed and laughed at your comment on my post yesterday. It was maybe his favourite birthday present! :)
Rosemary said…
I just finished reading the book 'The Glass Castle'. Sometimes I wish our children could read it! Aidan can't wait to do that home alone class in May. We've already left him for short trips but he's eager to do some babysitting in a year or so. Yes, Aidan, responsible for other people's children. He's actually had requests from friends to watch their JK/SK aged kids. He's really attentive, gentle and sweet with them. It's a side of him we never see with Holly!
Anonymous said…
"all you ever feed me is breafast, lunch and dinner?" -- that line is classic! LOL!

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