Friday, January 8, 2010

One Small Step for a Stay at Home Mom, One Giant Leap for...Well, No One.

First week of &*^%& January is over. Yay.
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I didn't know what to do with myself today. There were lots of things I should have been doing, but I was stuck in aimless mode. I answered some emails and sat staring at the computer, thinking.... that I had considered starting library tech courses in January. I had said I was going to take the first year that the kids were in school full-time off, to clear out the accumulated detritus of owning a house and having kids for the past decade. And to walk and work out more, and learn to play the piano again.

But then I thought maybe I would start courses in January, because it would only be a few hours a week and...then I could say I was taking courses instead of just saying I'm a stay-at-home Mom (not that there's anything wrong with that). BUT then I remembered that January was *&*^& JANUARY, and that my husband and my parents would be away for most of it, and that I might have to try to do HOMEWORK for the first time in fourteen years while sobbing and nursing thoughts of a suicidal nature, in between shoveling the driveway (because the minute Matt leaves for Switzerland there's always a blizzard) and driving one or both of my kids to emergency (because the minute Matt leaves for Switzerland they can't get down the stairs except at high velocity on their heads). And I thought, if I explained this to anyone who knew me, they would certainly agree that in this case, discretion really is the better part of valour. They would be kind and supportive and forgiving.

On the other hand, I could just suck it up and put my money where my mouth is. Which I hate, of course. I'd much rather put chocolate or tequila where my mouth is.

But I did it. I signed up for one tiny enormous course. An introductory course. 'Distance learning' they call it. At first I was overjoyed by this, thinking that I wouldn't have to go into class, because even when I was nineteen walking into a class full of people who were clearly all wondering what the heart-crushingly awful deal was with my hair was enough to induce a serious cerebro-vascular incident -- I don't even want to think how bad it would be now. But then I realized that now I've signed up to go to school... via computer. At some point I'm going to have to take courses ABOUT computers.... on a computer. And what do I know about computers? I know when one's upside down, that's about it. One course says I have to have a Pentium II quality or better computer -- that can be disassembled. DISASSEMBLED? They're going to make me take apart my computer? If I do that, how can I use the computer to tell me how to put the computer back together? Say it with me -- What. The. Fuck.

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I know it will be good for me. I know I've been putting it off because it's been a long time since I had to be where someone tells me when someone tells me, and since I tried to do something new and possiblity difficult (well, that and there was the child-raising and all the crippling mental problems and stuff). I hate doing things that I'm not good at right away. That's why I never play volleyball. And hey, maybe I'll also learn to do all the cool crap I can't do with my blog right now. Like make links instead of just talking about links I would make if I could make links. I know, I know, the idea is to make money at some point, not just dazzle you all with more than my sparkling wit and charm.

I have a student number. Want to hear something that's sort of amusing if you live in my head? My husband knows pi to twelve digits, but every time he said it I thought he was saying the first few wrong. He would say 3.14159265353, and I would think "3.14159? No way man, it's 3.14915". Because my student number in University was 8914915.

Okay, maybe it's not that amusing. Some of pi is kind of close to my student number, and I thought pi WAS my student number. It really is all about me.

Not to mention that the description of the diploma says I should enjoy working with technology and work well as part of a team. Rats. What have I done?

9 comments:

Amber said...

Good luck!

I have to say, I totally hate doing things I'm not good at right away, too. And volleyball is also on my list. I like the blame the fact that I have a steel plate in my right arm. Which is true, but probably NOT the reason I'm bad at volleyball. ;)

Mary Lynn said...

Ha, you made me snort again reading one of your posts. It was the pi paragraph that got me.

Congrats on signing up for the course!!

Amber said...

Good for you! I'd love to do a distance learning course at some point but fear I'd slack off too much since it would be on my own time sort of thing. Still, seems much less scary than actually having to GO to a class with youngsters.

Lynn said...

Oh Alli, you do make me cry with sympathy and laughter all at once. I adore this post!

Good luck with the course. I also feel like I should be doing something with my life other than being a mom (not that there's anything wrong with that). Boldly go where no mommies have gone before! Pave the way for us!

Julie said...

Wooohooo! Go Alli! Go Alli! I'll be your personal cheerleader if needed.

just one question... why do you have to be able to put together a computer to get your library tech cert??

theycallmejane said...

You're going to have a blast! (too funny about pi and your student number!) (Oh, and you've been tagged! http://theycallmejane.wordpress.com/2010/01/09/tag-youre-it/)

NoisyBluebird said...

You will likely beat yourself up along the way but in the end you'll be so proud of yourself! It is a giant leap and I totally understand. You so make me laugh. @#$^^#$ January.
Oh and btw, 'Esso' has become a regularly used term between Dana and I now when Aidan is clearly missing the point about something. Which seems to happen quite a lot :) I'll say to Dana as he's smacking his head against the steering wheel, 'Esso-k' we're almost home and smile.

angelcel said...

Hey well done - I'm sure you'll have a great time.
I'd almost, very nearly persuaded myself to take a course this year ... but so far I've successfully managed to avoid committing to anything. You may have just galvanised me into action!

alison said...

Chiming in way late to say: Yay! You go, girl. And other assorted exclamations indicating good luck and way to go!