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Okay, maybe it's just me. I would say "for as long as I remember", but for the longest time I was totally unaware of the unparalleled forces of suckiness that were always unleashed in January. So I can't even call it a self-fulfilling prophecy. I would get through Christmas, get back in the swing of things, going merrily along, and suddenly wonder why I found myself huddling under the bathroom sink cuddling a can of Drano at one in the afternoon. Or I would be washing dishes and listening to music, and think, 'hmm, this is productive and enjoyable. I wonder why I'm going over coffin models in the back of my mind?'
Granted, January's not a pretty month. But I like snow. I don't mind cold. Theoretically it's a good time to do some pre-spring cleaning while putting away Christmas stuff. But for some reason my consciousness just wants to take a long winter's nap. It's as though I have a big, spiky, heavy mass in my stomach. If I sit very still, it doesn't hurt too much. The more I try to move and act, the more it thrashes around ripping stuff up.
It's okay. Everybody's got their thing. I try to save what agency and energy I can muster up for my kids, so they don't suffer too much. But I don't have a whole lot extra, and it seems like I should be doing more. More than just trying not to disappear.
7 comments:
I love the Christmas season so much (and get so wrapped up in the madness) that by the time January comes around it is a huge let down for me. January is absolutely my least favorite month of all.
I'm sorry you're having a post-Christmas letdown. That doesn't sound like much fun. My least favourite month, by far, is November. I totally detest it, so I know the feeling, even if mine comes earlier than yours.
January is hard. The days are really short; the nights are really long; it's cold; and there's not the Christmas excitement. Take a nap until April. (I wish I could.)
Sorry you're in the doldrums (as my mom would say). It is sometimes a bit of a letdown when January arrives after all the hustle and bustle of the holidays.
I'm with Amber. I hate November. It's not called the month of the dead for no reason. It's grey and icky and it just makes me feel blue.
I hope the blues don't last too long for you.
It's February for me. That's when I start hearing music on the radio and think that it might be a nice tune to play at my funeral some day. I get it, I really do, so I won't throw in some sunshine and lollipops comment to try and help you feel better. Get a calender, cross off each day with an X.
Wow, I could have written this. I hear you. It comes and it goes at its own whim, and I'm trying to save my energy for the kids....
I'll be reading more of your posts first chance I get, nice to meet you.
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