Sunday, October 25, 2009

(May contain) Blatant and Unjustified Whining and Self-Pity

So yeah, it's really fun, being alone with the kids for seven days and nights and then having my husband come home, dump all his laundry on me and leave his crap all over the house I've been trying not to let be destroyed all week. Then we go over to my Mom's house for dinner and he gets fussed over for how tired he must be and tells whimsical, charming stories about being in Hong Kong while I was alone with the kids for a week (except he leaves that part out).
Also, he got home right after (I'm talking minutes) the school Halloween dance, meaning I had to herd the kids through an appalling mass of heaving bodies, deafening Black-Eyed Peas songs, lame D.J. patter and miniature Spider-Men (Mans?) and Hannah Montanas trying to take me out at the knees every other minute for two and a half hours all by myself. Actually, I suspect he landed at four o'clock and hung out at the airport for five hours drinking coffee and reading the magazines in the Elite Lounge just so he wouldn't have to come to the dance.
photo credit
creative commons license
Additionally, (okay, this one I kind of asked for) it turns out that caving in and allowing one kid to sleep in my bed and the other on a mattress on the floor feels really sweet and companionable at night when we're all reading and telling jokes and falling asleep, and then starts to go horribly wrong at two or three in the morning, and turns downright ugly by five.
Furthermore, it's rained A LOT the past few weeks. In the fall. And I love the fall. When it's dry. It rained coldly and unsympathetically on us while we were trying to hustle our witchy and zombie-ey and spider-y butts from the car to the f&*^ing school Halloween dance. While my husband was (allegedly) flying back from China.
As well, I've been entirely uninspired blog-wise, which means I haven't even been able to console myself that at least I have a creative outlet with which to transform my whiny wallowing into witty, hysterically funny wallowing which would give someone else a laugh or at least a pleasurable pang of schadenfreude. Or I could review one or two of the dozens of really great books I've read while not blogging, or going to the gym, or parenting my children.
And I think I've run out of of synonyms for and. I guess for Halloween I should go as a great yawning void of narcissistic bitchery. Do you think I can find anything like that at Value Village?

3 comments:

Lynn said...

I absolutely sympathize and empathize with this post. Although my husband was not in Hong Kong recently...sometimes it feels like he is :).

Hope you get your mojo back soon, and looking forward to hearing about those books!

Amber said...

All right, you've made me laugh. Which is shallow consolation, I'm sure.

I also feel for you. A week with no husband is not fun. Not fun at all. the longest I've ever gone is 4 nights and I have no recollection of that time. I believe I've blocked it out of my memory due to what must have been horrifying trauma.

NoisyBluebird said...

About a week ago I had a dream that Troy from HSM was my boyfriend but that he had a miniature penis. Although I was o.k with this fact I still couldn't get my 'head in the game'. 'My heads in the game but my hearts in the song'. Do you know what I mean? 6 hours alone every day and you would think I'd be happier with all this free time but no....I can't get my head in the game. I don't even know what game I'm playing anymore. How do you play a game with just one person and a vacume?
October is a bitch. We need Vitamin D - stat. Btw, loved the part about imagining him enjoying a coffee in the lounge just to miss the dance, awesome.