So I definitely didn't go on NetGalley and create a profile and request sixty-six or so books and then feel all giggly and smug when the approvals started rolling in and my Kindle app filled up with YET MORE books. Free books. Books that haven't quite been published yet.
It's true. I have a problem.
Sometimes I get turned down, for one reason or another. I feel unreasonably annoyed by this.

Recently, I read in a Book Riot article that The Girl With All the Gifts by M.R. Carey was a book that I should read immediately, before more was given away about it. I was giddy with the realization that I had the book from NetGalley RIGHT THAT MINUTE, and it was AWESOME, and I .... can't say a whole lot more about that one either. Except it's so much more than just a book of.... this genre, and I loved the nuanced characters, and the clear-eyed presentation of the human condition, and the perfect, poignant rendering of the child-teacher relationship in extreme circumstances, and if you like books of this genre you should definitely read it, except you don't know if you like books of this genre because I haven't told you which genre it is, because I don't want to give anything away. It's a dilemma. Use your best judgment.
The tagline for reviewing NetGalley books on Goodreads is always "review copy provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review". We'll see how they feel about that when I review Fields of Elysium, because oh, my god, oh, the badness is so bad with this one. It's the worst kind of adolescent wish-fulfillment Twilight rip-off, written by someone whose first language almost certainly isn't English, or reality. There are phrases like "she tossed her head back, burying her hands into her glossy hair in the sexiest way I'd ever seen a girl act. That picture was too much for my eyes. I looked away and bored my eyes into the waterfall." Also, "I had become a ghost, just drifting down the corridors, unnoticed by their Gucci bags and Prada shoes". Aw, their bags and shoes didn't notice you? Stupid unsentient accessories. The requisite situations where the heroine is hurt or put in danger so the hero (who acts like he hates her but of course loves her) can rescue her are cringe-worthy. At one point she blacks out and hits her head on a desk, and then laments the disfiguring scar that will ensure that no man wants her (grow some bangs, duh). The hero visits with some future-world healing ointment, and she piteously requests that he put it on for her because she doesn't have a mirror. That's right - she's too stupid to find her own forehead.
Eve came downstairs a while ago and said "there was this book at school called Jacob's New Dress. Can Jacob be a girl's name?" I said maybe, but maybe it was more about gender roles. We looked it up, and it is, which is cool. She said "like - he's a drag queen?" and I said, no, he just doesn't conform to normal gender stereotypes. She said she was a little surprised that there would be a kids' book about that, and I reminded her about my friend Amanda who has an eleven-year-old transgender daughter, which means that a book explaining gender fluidity to kids is, in my book (ha), a good thing. Then I said "of course, some parents probably won't WANT their kids reading about it", and Eve said "well, tough bananas. It's a thing."
So there.
5 comments:
Ha! Eve. She's so funny. "It's a thing."
'grow some bangs' made me lol
I can't thank you enough for those quotes from Elysium Fields because they just made my entire day. I feel like they need to be entered into the Bulwer-Lytton contest. So. Bad.
The other books will now be hastily put on hold so during the time I have to wait to get them I can forget entirely where I heard about them or how they got onto my reading list and be pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoy them.
You can't fool me, withholding the genre. It says it's a thriller right there on the cover.
I am somewhat book-stressed right now because after years of thinking I'd like to lead a discussion at book club I volunteered to do it and now instead of reading Alias Grace, which I love, used to teach, and am supposed to lead discussion on in less than 3 weeks, I am all nervous about it and avoiding thinking about it by reading Joyce Carol Oates's The Accursed instead. It's good and also almost 700 pages long which makes it a good tool for procrastination.
really, bad book reviews are the best. though i think i have some sentient accessories - or at least ones that are capable of reproduction. the number of black bags i have is OUT OF CONTROL.
Post a Comment