Monday, May 26, 2014

What I've Been Doing While I'm Not Blogging: Part Three


Driving downtown on a HOLIDAY MONDAY with Collette and our daughters.


Eve said "OMG, these tulips are so Amity and the white one is so Divergent"


*GASP* "And look inside, it's Dauntless!"


Looking at Parliament buildings.


And gargoyles.


Eve being freaked out by the Whispering Wall (although if I'd pointed out that her head was directly below a boob, it probably would have generated a similar expression)


Letting our daughters pose with statues of political figures...


...with increasing levels of disrespect.



Having fancy drinks in a perfectly shaded patio spot.




Eve was adamant that she didn't need help cutting her pizza. It was entertaining.


Then we had gelato and drove home along the canal. I had the dubious pleasure of hearing Jason Derulo's Talk Dirty song for the first time. I said "did he seriously just say 'your booty don't need explaining'?" Everyone assured me that he had. Collette said "I kind of feel like mine does, though - you know, something like 'I've had three kids, I can't stay away from ice cream'". Things devolved from there. 




Sunday, May 25, 2014

What I've Been Doing While I'm Not Blogging: Part Two

Looking at things I love. 


Tulips.


More tulips.


Really cool tulips that look like they'd glow in the dark.


Dandelions (yeah, they're annoying, but they have such cheerful tenacity, the little bastards)


The canal.


Pam. And my beer.



Friday, May 23, 2014

What I've Been Doing While I'm Not Blogging

Cooking for another gourmet dinner party. 


I got the recipe from an LCBO Food & Drink Magazine


It was called a terrine. A more accurate description would be "meat, mixed with other meat..."


"....layered with other meat..."


"...wrapped in bacon."


I had to call my husband in for an engineering consult. We swaddled it and bathed it as tenderly as we would an infant. A meat infant, that we were going to roast and eat. Okay, bad simile.


We stuck it in the fridge and weighed it down with cans to squish down all the layers (NEVER NEVER do this with a baby).


Look, there are pistachios and dried cherries in it - it's practically trail mix!


Okay, admittedly, I picked this terrine recipe because it was less jellified than all the others, and there was STILL a higher degree of slipperiness than I'm generally comfortable with (sorry if I just made you gag, Nicole). But it was actually insanely delicious.



Thursday, May 15, 2014

All-of-a-Sudden VERY SURLY THURSDAY

First of all, apparently my Wednesday should have been a little less wordless, because LOOK AGAIN people - he's been taller than me for years, the funny part is that we're WEARING THE SAME COLOURS. I can't even pull off a decent internet sight gag. Sigh.

This Thursday totally didn't start out surly. My husband was away Monday and Tuesday and baseball season has started and naturally Angus's two games were Monday and Tuesday, I still haven't gotten new orthotics and I needed to get Angus's laundry done and suitcase packed for his grade 8 trip to Quebec City AND I volunteered for Eve's class's field trip to the Science and Tech Museum ALL DAY Wednesday, so Monday through Wednesday were a solo-parenting, running-up-and-down-the-stairs, sweaty, overtired, carbo-loading blur (oh, except I had a lovely walk through the tulips with Pam on Monday, shut up, don't interrupt my rant, right after the tulips things got VERY DIFFICULT). Today Angus is IN Quebec City, Matt's home (until Saturday, when he leaves for a week in Mexico), the field trip is behind me and I had tea at the lovely and pretty and serenity-inducing Thimble Cafe with a fabulous blogging friend and a radiantly pregnant-with-twins friend. I felt pretty, even.

Then I picked up some groceries and came home and then BAM, sudden EXTREME CRANKINESS descended, or bubbled up, or something. I offer you a rosary of small vexations:

I hate that goddamned Happy song. I find it insipid and annoying. I have told this to my kids and they looked at me like I shot Bambi and made hasenpfeffer out of Thumper. So much for a frank and open exchange of ideas.

Angus used my computer for a school project and has infected me with some kind of digitally transmitted disease and now shit keeps popping up and taking over - I try to do one thing and some obnoxious blaring screen demands that I download a new video player, I try to do something else and Kim Kardashian and weight-loss ads eat up the screen -  and I have to call a priest or a nerd or someone.

When we were driving to the Spiderman movie last Sunday my husband was trying to change lanes and this guy wouldn't let him in, and he was on the right and I was in the passenger seat so he was really close to me as he passed us, and I yelled "you deserve that nose!" Then I said "I'm sorry, that was unkind." But now I take it back, plus the window was up and he couldn't hear me anyway so fuck him and his giant schnozz.
photo by Thoth God of Knowledge

Then we passed a giant Tim Horton's billboard and made fun of the "kettle chips...served warm" thing. I mean, come on. They're potato chips. Not fresh-cut fries, not twice-baked potatoes, not made on the premises. Just potato chips nuked in the microwave. Do we look stupid, Tim Horton's?

Then I read a thing on the internet that made me stabbily enraged, which I realized was stupid because it's a fairly small issue and I don't even know why it's a hot-button thing for me, and I have resolved to not write a post about it until I'm in a less assholish frame of mind. I apologize for vagueblogging, but trust me, it's for the best.

I just realized that those two paragraphs both started with "then", even though one thing took place tonight and the other thing took place four evenings ago, which proves that I can't be trusted with a computer or basic chronology right now.

I decided that maybe a little Netflix was in order. But I couldn't find my queue, so I just picked the first scary movie I saw. Big, big mistake. Huge. It was an independent film, which sometimes means quirky and refreshingly non-Hollywood and sometimes means badly acted, indifferently scripted and grating beyond belief. Also, it was really, really gross. There was gross eye stuff and gross fingernail stuff and gross menstrual stuff and so I fast-forwarded through large chunks but watched the end and people, I shit you not, maggots dropped out of a vagina.

So I winged my ipad across the room and picked up a library book - The Best American Noir of the Century. You know what kind of adjectives describe noir fiction? Grim. Nihilistic. Merciless. Bleak. Eve came home from school and asked what was for dinner. I said ashes and despair. She said she'd make herself a grilled cheese.

OH, the other thing is that I've only been reading one book the last few evenings because it's an ebook from the library and it's expiring soon, and it sounded really interesting and I'm only about a third of the way through it and I HATE it so far, and I keep waiting for it to get better and it hasn't. And I'm still constitutionally incapable of quitting a book, so maybe the fact that it will probably expire before I finish it is actually a good thing.

Also, I've been eating crap. A lot of it. While partly standing outside of myself going "what the fuck do you actually think you're doing right now?", with a bemused expression.

So I didn't buy chips while grocery shopping today.

This has the unfortunate by-product of resulting in there not being any chips now.

I hate this day so. much.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Wordless Wednesday: So This Happened...


Hint: It's not about the height, it's about the colours. Which caused Eve to squeal "those are Amity colours!" Which caused Angus to say "I'm going to change."

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

It's the Day After Angus's Fourteenth Birthday

So here, have a bunch of pictures of Angus.



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The Thug Life


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"I think if human beings had genuine courage, they would wear their costumes every day"
~Douglas Coupland



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Happy Birthday, Dude. I still think you're super.