Scintilla Day 9: Write a list of 23. (23 things to do, 23 people you owe apologies to, 23 books you've lied about reading, 23 things you can see from where you're sitting, 23 ten-word hooks for stories you want to tell....)
Notwithstanding the fact that any project that mentions LYING about reading books is momentarily on VERY SHAKY GROUND with me, here is my list of ... lists.
I couldn't think of anything to list, and going random just seemed too easy, so I googled list of, and then got caught up in all the lists there are. Which then makes this kind of random, doesn't it? Look, my husband's away and I did dance class AND playoff hockey last night, okay? AND the other team almost tied it up in the last four seconds. My nerves are SHOT.
1. List of colours. Colour swatches from domain-specific naming schemes, and a bunch of other stuff I don't understand, but the names are cool. Android Green. Dark Byzantium. Caput Mortuum (that means 'dead head' or 'worthless remains' which is totally something I would like to have on my bedroom walls, how about you?)
2. List of the top ten evil children in fiction. Recently I watched Orphan and Joshua, which made me wonder what the hell I was thinking, and then question what the hell Vera Farmiga was thinking, especially the second time. Is there anything scarier than evil children? Evil bunnies, maybe? Especially because the people in the evil children books or movies have apparently never read or seen an evil-child book or movie, so no one ever believes the person who figures out that the kid is evil, while the poor person reading or watching is going "But it's so obvious! The child is EVIL! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!"
3. The top 17 most overused movie soundtrack songs. I had no idea the Big Butts song was in so many movies.
4. The phobia list. Acerophobia - fear of sourness. Blennophobia - fear of slime. Zelophobia - fear of jealousy. Automatonophobia - fear of ventriloquists' dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues - anything that falsely represents a sentient being (this seems to me both uncreatively named and JUST GOOD COMMON SENSE). Soceraphobia - fear of parents-in-law (not touching that one). You guys - this list is FUN.
5. Top ten animals you didn't know were venomous. BUNNIES. Just kidding. But look!
It's as cute as a bunny - and it's venomous AND poisonous.
6. The Penis List. It's rude. It's crude. It's for the shallow and easily amused. Needless to say, I laughed my ass off.
7. The top ten most misunderstood lines in literary history. If you're anything like me, you will approach this list with an insufferable degree of smugness and immediately be demolished by the fact that HOLY CRAP, that's NOT what that Robert Frost poem means AT ALL. Hmph.
8. List of Doofenshmirtz's schemes and inventions. In case you're ever in the need of an idea for a good 'Inator'. Because who doesn't want to show the entire Tri-State area who's boss some days?
9. List of songs that contain lists. Too meta? Sorry.
11. Lucky and unlucky Chinese numbers. Just, you know, in case.
12. The Elf Name Generator. Oh pipe down Gurutphen, so it's not a list, it's fun.
13. List of antibiotics. Blephamide sort of sounds like it could be an elf name, doesn't it?
14. Top ten amazing holes in the earth. You think I'M copping out here? One of these is called the Great Blue Hole!
15. List of hysterical fridge notes, which I can't link to because one was too gross. Sorry.
16. 12 hilarious teachers' replies. This one should be safe.
17. List of Pokémon by National Pokédex Number. Some of you will thank me for this some day. The rest of you, move along.
18. List of the world's billionaires. You never know when you might need one. And to the Spanx chick - NO ONE DESERVES IT MORE.
19. List of Challenged Books and Magazines in Canada from Februry 2012. Including that hot-button tome, Ziggy Piggy and the Three Little Pigs.
20. List of Endangered Languages: Be a sport - learn Dzongkha today. Feel slightly guilty if you can't help chuckling ruefully when you learn that the last two fluent speakers of Ayapaneco aren't speaking to each other.
21. List of curry recipes. Yes, I have spent way too long on this list and I need to go make dinner. Too bad I don't have any snake gourd on hand.
22. List of Kangaroo Words. Here is a good definition of kangaroo words, which I knew nothing about until two minutes ago and about which I am now ridiculously excited.
23. List of positive affirmations. Because I feel like I reverted to my regular blog persona somewhat on this one, so I went a TOTAL OTHER WAY just to keep you off balance. See? I can be positive and affirmative or whatever.